I recently celebrated my 5-year anniversary with Shan. When you watch movies, it seems like “Eh, Five Years, Nbd,” but in reality, especially when your relationship began when one of you was in College, this is pretty good. It’s a feat.
A lot of people have believed, at one time or another, that we didn’t belong together. That because we were having problems at home, no matter their origin, that means that two people shouldn’t be in a relationship together.
Let me tell you how angering that is.
Relationships, dear people, are not cut and dry. It is not about whether or not you fight. If you have an argument, no matter how huge it is, if you’re willing to work on the relationship or willing to understand where you went wrong, then you don’t necessarily have to be over. It’s ridiculous that people think you do.
Do you have friends who are in a relationship? Do they fight? Are they still insistent on being together?
Then get over it.
If you’re really concerned, talk to your friend. Sit down with them (not after they just had a fight with their significant other, they’re not in their rational mind) and find out why they’re still in that relationship. Talk to them when they’re at their 100%, not anything less. Because if you talk to them after a fight, you’re going to get all of their emotions from the fight, and none of their actual feelings.
If, when you speak to them while they’re at their 100%, they dodge the question, then you have something to worry about.
If they do sit down with you and tell you that, yes, we have these problems, but we’re still willing to work on them – then great!
No one can know for sure what happens in your relationship. This past year has been incredibly difficult for Shan and I. My father passed away – Shan went through a breakdown – I transitioned into a new job – Shan just transitioned into a new job – We bought a new car together – We moved from a small, safe suburb to Downtown Saint Louis (we love our loft!) – and more, probably. I didn’t even know how insane this year was until I just wrote it all out. If you look up the top five stressful things to go through, pretty sure that all of them except “Get Married” are on there.
#EndRant
So, five years down. Hopefully the 6th won’t be as difficult!
So Tuachair 